Fragile state of mind
by XBlack7WidowX
Summary: He was rude, cocky, arrogant, stubborn, loud, and in your face face 100% of the time, But somehow Lyrica Daniels fell in love with him.  DEADLIEST CATCH,Jake Harris/OC
1. Chapter 1

"Fuck my life" A girl breathed out hopelessly as she downed the shot in front of her.

"Oh come on Ria. You know how Jake is." The man sitting next to her said as he rubbed her briefly on the back

"A dick?" she said raising one eyebrow. The men around her laughed. She glanced wistfully over at him. Him. Jake harris. The one and only boy she had ever been in love with and the only one she would ever be in love with. Talking to the skankiest looking girl in the bar. She sighed and looked at the man sitting next to her. Josh Harris. Her guidance. The big brother she never had, and the one she could always talk to. Sitting next to her making her feel better. Could the two be more different?

She glanced over at Freddie who was sitting next josh, and he frowned at her. She had known most of them since she was a teenager. Lyrica's parents had died when she was twelve. Phil took her in and raised, along with Jake and Josh. Everything was perfect till she turned 16 and began to see Jake differently. Now at 21 years old, nothing had changed for her. And nothing had changed for Jake. He was still clueless even though everyone else knew. Ria sighed and ran her fingers through her long pale hair.

RIa didnt know it but in the midst of all her moping she didnt realize how many men were staring at her in awe. She was quite a sight. Long pale hair, big grey eyes rimmed in smokey eye makeup, tiny toned body, and mile long legs. Not to mention she was covered in piercings and tattoos. She was always bright and bubbly which only added to her attractivness. Josh laughed slightly at her.

"What?" she replied slightly self conciously looking down at hereself.

"Ria. You dont even know. Look around. Everyone in this bar can't take their eyes off you. And your worried about my stupid ass of a little brother."

Ria turned and saw everyone staring at her. EVeryone except the one person she wanted most. He was too interested in the skanky girl with the bleach blonde hair. She downed the shot Josh had set in front of her and stood up, pulling her black button up peacoat around her shoulders.

"I'm gonna head back to the boat. Guess I'm just not in the 'Party' mood" Josh nodded apologetically and watched her as she weaved through the crowd. Freddie shook his head.

"That boy is never gonna learn is he?"

Josh snorted, as he surveyed Freddie over the rim of his glass."Its been almost 7 years. WHy would he start now?

Ria watched her pearly white breath dissolve into the Alaskan blackness, as she walked down the cobblestone strrets of dutch harbor. She sighed and looked out at the rolling waves of the bering sea. She stopped when she heard a voice behind her.

"YO!" She turned and saw the last person she ever expected joggin up to her, beer in one hand cigarette in the other. Jacob Harris. She looked at him curiously.

"Are you leaving?"

he took a drag on his cigarette before he handed it to her. As she took a drag, he took a drink from the bottle he threw an arm roughly around her shoulders, and said

"No.I came out to see why you were leaving?don't be stupid Ria, stay for a while

"You smell like a brewery" she said wrinkling her nose at him. He merely shrugged, and smirked slightly.

"So how bout it?stay...Please?" he batted his eyelashes at her, and ppouted his bottom lip. She sighed and turned to face the Elbow room again. Casting him a disgruntled look she said

"I hate you sometimes" he laughed and grabbed her hand as they walked together back to the bar. He intertwined his fingers with hers, as they entered. Josh did a double take when he saw them holding hands, and looked even more shocked when Jake seated himself among the other deckhands, and pulled Ria on to his lap. She looked slightly uncomfortable but smiled at everyone all the same. She leaned down and whispered something in his ear, and he immediately released his hand from her hip, and she stood up hurrying over to Josh.

"WHat the hell?" he said looking at her both eyebrows raised so high they were in danger of dissapearing into his hairline.

She ran her fingers through her hair, and gave Josh a painful smile as she ordered another shot

"Jake's piss drunk Josh" he sighed and looked over at his little brother shaking his head. But before he could say anything Ria gave a loud yelp and turned around quickly. Josh looked around startled. She turned her eyes wide.

"That guy..just..He..I...He touched me!" she pointed at the group of guys walking oast who were laughing and making crude comments about her. Josh jumped off his barstool, just as Jake and Ryan appeared on either side of Josh.

"HEY!" jake yelled. When they turned around Jake threw his bottle and it smashed directly at the guys feet.

'Yo what the fuck?" he yelled stepping back a few steps.

"Touch her like that again and i will kill you" Jake said stepping forward. Ria hurried forward and grabbed Jake by the arm

"Jake stop its not worth it." she looked helplessly at Josh who stepped in front of his little brother, but Jake shoved him out of the way.

'Leave. Now" he said quietly looking the man dead in the eye.

"Make me you fa-"

whatever the guy said after that was lost when jake swung a fist in the direction of his face.

'JAKE!" Ria screeched as she lept forward to untangle him from the group. Jake Anderson came flying in out of nowhere, and grabbed on of the guys off Josh, who had jumped in to help his little brother. Freddy kicked his bar stool as he jumped out of it ripping one of the guys off Jake, and Ryan attempted to pull AJke out of the frey. Ria felt someone tug on her hair. She turned, and looked irratatedly at a dark haired girl standing behind her.

"What?" she spat at her.

"Keep your fucking boyfriend on a leash bitch" Ria raised her eyebrows

"Excuse me?Tell your animal to keep his hands to himself. The bar quieted as the fight broke up slightly. Ria turned back to them when the girl pushed her forward.

"You wanna go with me?" the girl said taking a step forward, getting right in her face.

Ria laughed slightly and looked at Ryan, and then Punched to girl right in the mouth. She grabbed the bar before she fell, and Ria jumped on top of her. She pinned her and began to punch her in the .

"Whoa whoa calm down killer" Josh said hurrying forward and distangling her from the girl who lay clutching her mouth on the ground. hot tears fell out of her eyes as Josh set her in a barstool. Jake walked over and smoothed her hair around her face, and wiped away her tears, attempting to calm her down. The Cornelia Marie crew decided it would be best to leave before the cops showed up. They all walked back tot he boat recounting the nights big event with excitement. Freddie was waving his arms erratically, and yelling by the time they got back to the boat. Ria smiled slightly. She had a pounding headache from the alcohols,and the fight, and all she wanted right now was to sleep. The guys decided to stay up, and just hang out, when they got back to the boat, ria opted out. She slipped into a pair of soffe shorts, and one of Jake's oversized hoodies, and walked to bed after she washed her makeup off and pulled herhair into a ponytail. She was more than suprised to find Jake sitting on his bed, when she returned from the bathroom. He smiled at her, and patted the bed next to him/ She sat down very tentaively, flipping the light off as she did. jake layed down on the outside of the bed and once again patted the blanket on the inside motioning for her to come lay down. She crawled very awkwardly over him, and very tensely laid down. Jake pulled her very close to him, and held her tightly. But then he releasesd her and sat up. he smirked before pulling his shirt over his head. He then settled himself unnaturally close to her, his mouth only inches from hers. She stared at him for a long moment before sighing. she pushed herself away from his face and closed her eyes. She could feel his breath deepen, and knew he was asleep. Settling in for the night she thought in her mind

_I hate you Jacob Harris_


	2. Chapter 2

Ria woke up before anyone else the next morning. She knew immmediately she wasnt the only one who occupied the bed, and glanced up to find Jake One arm around her one arm resting over his stomach. She smiled lightly as she propped herself up to look at him. He looked so young when he slept, and the thought reoccured in her mind when she looked over at Josh who was also asleep. She sighed and stretched again before silently climbing over Jake, so not to wake him. By the time she was showered and freshly made up everyone was awake. Phil stretched as he came out of his staterooom, and immediately went into Captain mode. They were leaving Port in 6 days and still had alot to do. Gorceries was at the top of the list. Phil sent Ria, Josh and Ryan to do the job while Jake Freddy and Steve did deck work.

The grocery store was an episode and a half. The store was so crowded with fishermen getting their groceries, the poor girl in the checkout looked so overwhelmed she was about to cry. RIa had once had her job, and knew how it felt she gave her a reassuring smile as she walked past. They ran into Sig, Edgar and Jake anderson from the Northwestern, Keith and Monty, Larry from the sea star, Wayne from the Lisa Marie, Blake and Rick Painter, and the Hillstrands. They all joyfully greeted eachthother. FIshermen were buying things faster then the workers could re stock it. Josh and Ryan carried the supplies out as RIa payed for everything. The girl behind the counter, Chrissy, as her nametag said, did the credit card transaction slighty nervously. She reminded Ria of herself when she was seventeen. She was tall and skinny, blue eyed blonde haired, with braces, and looked way overworked. RIa smiled at her.

"Dont worry. The job gets easier once they leave town" Ria said gesturing at the salty fisherman behind her.

"Oh come on were not that bad!" Andy Hillstrand exclaimed smiling kindly at the teenager behind the counter. She smiled back and handed Ria back Phils credit card.

"Thanks" she said simply "I feel much better"

Ria turned to look and saw the smile had not been taken off the girls face, as she now chatted good naturedly with the Hillstrands. Ria drove home nearly killing them on several patches of ice, and sucessfully made Ryan scream like a girl. Of course Josh laughed so Ryan punched him, and in seconds they were waging an all out war in Jakes truck. After narrowly missing a fist twice Ria slammed on the brakes and yelled

"OY!" They both stopped laughing at her, and fixed themselves as she started driving again. Cursing them both she stepped out of the truck rubbing her arms as the Alaska air seeped through her jacket, and sent a chill up her spine. She walked to the wheelhouse to bring Phil his reciept, and credit card back. He smiled at her as he watched the guys load the stuff. Ria leaned forward and searched for the littlest deckhand. He was yelling something at Josh who was yelling back while Ryan stood laughing at them. She smiled, and looked over at Phil who shook his head.

"Thing's never change do they?"

"HA!yeah right. Josh and Jake have been fighting since they came out of the womb. Remember when you bought the boxing gloves. Watching them beat the snot out of eachother was the most entertaining moment of my life."

Phil laughed till tears came out of his eyes. She smiled warmly. it was good to see Phil happy and laughing after everything that had happened in the past year. His health hadnt slowed him down and Ria was grateful it hadnt . She couldnt imagine life without Phil. She wouldnt be here had he not decided it was best for her to stay with family. Especially after what had happened. She shook her head ridding herself of the memory, and told Phil she was going shopping.

jake drove her, and walked around the only mall Dutch Harbor had, and made comments through the whole process. He waited patiently while she tried on a piar of jeans, and his eyes widened when she stepped out.

"What do yo-what?" she said seeing his expression. She looked down at herself and then back up."Do they look that bad?"

"Ria. You are so fucking skinny. Dont you eat?"

Ria scowled"Jake I've been this skinny my entire life."

" What size pants are they like a triple zero"

"Your not exactly a huge person either Jacob"

Jake pulled a face at her, and huffed."Would you hurry up!I'm so bored"

She sighed. This was why she never took him with her was always"Bored"

She paid for her things, and made Jake drive home which was a mistake. In between fiddling with the radio and the heater and his lighter Ria barely made it home alive. Jake laughed as she jumped out of the truck, and nearly kissed the ground. When she showed up in the wheelhouse looking pale and shakey Phil gave Jake a hard smack, and shook his head

"Kids" he mumbled as he turned back to the charts.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that day while the guys were at the bar, Ria snuck out to get some fresh air, and sit down by the beach. She sighed, as she seated herself on the wooden dock, and stared out over the ocean. Jake of course was on her again, when wasnt he? But that wasnt what was weighing on her mind right now. She missed her mother, and father, and siblings. And she would never get them back now. She huffed again, and stood up. There was only one thing that would make her feel better right now. Dancing. Ria had been in ballet since she was three. It was her passion, and something Jake and Josh made fun of her for daily.

"Because all Ballerinas look like freaks" josh had once said to her, after standing on his tip toes and twirling in a circle. Ria sent a punch in the general direction of his stomach, and keeled him over.

She didn't ever hear that remark again.

She stood on her toes and took a depp breath before she began. Tracing the steps in her mind she began to slowly twirl, and spin across the docks closing her eyes, and sending the steps from her mind to her feet. Her long pale hair shone in the moon light as she danced, relishing in her moment of inner peace. Little did Ria know that Jake was watching her from the front steps of the bar.

When Ria walked back to the bar, she immediately knew something about Jake was different. She was watching him watch her, and couldn't understand why. He was looking at her thoughtfully, head cocked slightly to the side his expression unreadable.

She shook her head

Jake was just being Jake. She threw herself into the conversation at hand, and tried to ignore the big hazel eyes burning a hole in her.

Ria crashed the minute she laid her head on Jakes pillow. Her crawled in next to her sometime later, after Josh had turned the lights out and gaxed down at her. In a way she was sorta beautiful

But in his head, he was telling himself metally to shutup, and that it was Ria..gross

But the other side of his head was telling him thta he had always had small crush on her, and that maybe now was the time to take that step. He battled inwardly with himself while he tossed and turned.

THis just wasnt right. He was Jake fucking Harris. He didn't have to do this kinda thing. he was...well Jake Harris! He could get any woman he wanted and to him Ria had always just been...Ria. Sure she was attractive he couldnt deny that, and maybe he did have a subtle attraction to her. Her long blonde hair, tattoos, big smile, perfect body, pretty eyes...

_STOP IT! _He roared at himself silently. Jake rolled away so his back was to her, and huffed before closing his eyes forcefully.

Lyrica Daniels was his bestfriend, and would never be anything more...

Right?

When Ria woke up the next morning, she was alone. They were leaving that morning, she smiled at the boys who were in the galley, and recieved one back from everyone except Jake. he gave her a brief look and went back to whatever he was doing. She frowned and shrugged. She didnt think she did anything wrong. She took the opportunity to follow him back to the leaned against the doorframe, she watched him rummage through his bags.

"Jake?"

He glanced up, and then wuickly looked abck down

"Sup?"

She shifted her weight, and bit her lip.

"Are you...mad at me?" he snorted

"Don't be stupid RIa, whatre we, 16?No Im not mad, I just didn't sleep well okay?" he huffed, and pushed past her. She turned slowly and watched him walk to the bathroom and slam the door, and the shower click on. Josh sent her a questioning glance, and she returned a shrug.

Was Jake just being Jake, or was something else going on her?

After Jake's shower he seemed a little more normal towards Ria than earlier that morning. She felt the excitement sweel in her stomach as she excitedly stepped on deck, and waited for the boat to leave harbor. For the first time that day, Jake smiled at her. He beckoned her over, and stood behind her, as the boat rumbeled to life, and pulled slowly away from the harbor. The cool wind blew through Ria's hair, and sent goosebumps up her arms as the Cornelia Marie sailed thorugh the icy waters of the Bering Sea. She breathed in the scent of the ocean, the salt in the air, the fuel from the boat, and axe cigarettes, and vanilla. Jake was standing next to her smiling at her.

"It's so beautiful" she said watching Dutch Harbor get smaller and smaller, as the other boats around them blew their hrons, and waved sending fireworks in the air as a goodluck sign for the season.

"Yeah" Jake said slowly, his eyes locking on hers "Beautiful"


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days passed uneventfully for the Cornelia Marie, and the rest of the fleet. It was the usual big waves, and Phil was a happy camper due to his full pots. Ria spent most of her time, getting a free lesson on Crab Fishing from Phile, while she was curled up in the Co-Captains chair.

Meanwhile on deck Jake was battling inwardly with himself.

_You do NOT like Ria. Shut the fuck up!It's not even a resonable thing to think about. She's Ria!Youve know her since you were like 1._

But Jake was seeing her in a different light now. She had alwasy been Ria, the one who sat by and watched while he burned through girls like wildfire.

He had known for a while she had a small crush on him, and maybe just maybe he played with that a little. He was a flirt, and even though that was kinda giving her false hope, it was just how he was. She knew that.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't hear Freddie calling for him till Josh smacked him with a rather large Cod fish.

Jake yelped, and glared angrily at him "What the fuck dude?"

"Pay fucking attention. What's with you today, your like completely out of it Bro"

Jake stormed angrily over to tie up a pot.

_Fuck Josh. WHat does he know. Thinks he can boss me around...HA! He wishes. I am HIS boss..So in his ugly face!_

When the guys came In Ria noticed Jake was slightly quieter than usual, but gave her a big smile when she glanced up at him. She didn't eat much, and to be honest she thought there was a late case of sea sickness was setting in. as she went to stand her face went a sickly shade of green, and her stomach lurched into her throat.

She stumbled into the bathroom, and made it to the toilet just in time to throw up everything that was left in her stomach. She felt a pair of rough hands weave through her hair holding it back, while she gagged. A wet cloth was pressed to her forehead. She felt tears slip out, and hurriedly wiped them away.

Jake heaved her off the floor, and helped her back to the bunk. He pushed her up on to his bunk. She felt weak, and tired. Without even thinking she curled up against Jake's body and immediately fell asleep. Jake wrapped an arm around her, trying to ignore the quickening heart rate he was getting, and soon fell asleep too.

Ria spent the rest of the season throwing up, and was all too happy when they arrived at Dutch. She ran on deck, and jumped off the boat.

"Land!" she yelled.

Freddie laughed, and echoed her with his traditional "Sweet!"

Much to her dismay she had to shower before the crew headed to the bar. When she was done she found out Ryan was the only one who actually waited for her. The two walked to the bar, laughing the whole way, before Ryan said

"Ya know Ria. You look real pretty tonight. Jake is a fucking idiot"

She smiled "No. He can't fix, what he doesnt know Ryan. That blame settles on me, I've had a million chances to tell him how I feel, and I keep it bottled up. But thank you" They entered the bar, and Ria saw Jake's eyes land on a girl. She didnt get jealous, or upset, or mad. Because for the first time, that girl...was her.


	5. Chapter 5

When Ria walked in the bar, Jake couldn't help but raise his eyebrows appreciatively. Tonight, she looked good. He couldnt lie. He had never noticed the soft curve of her waist from her hip, or the shape of her long legs. How her thick black eyelashes framed her eyes. The sly sexy grin she always gave before she smiled. The way she swung her hips when she walked, and how she ran her fingers through her hair tousling it around her face.

She was sittng on a bar stool, legs crossed at the knee talking to Jake Anderson's girlfirend animatedly. She caught him looking at her, and sent him a small wink and the grin he knew all too well. He smiled back and turned back to the conversation.

"You want her don't you?" Scottie said grinning at him. Jake made a face

"Ria? Pfffft. No way, shes like my bestfriend dude." He said lieing through his teeth. Truth was right now bestfriends or no bestfriends. Ria was hot. And he couldn't believe how blind he was. Luckily josh saved him

"Ria and Jake have been friends since they were babies. They don't have that kind of relationship." Jake mentally noted that he owed Josh eternally and adoided matt Bradley's gaze.

"Dude. You can't lie, Ria's hot as hell. And you spend 3 months on a boat with " He shook his head.

Scottie opened his mouth to say something but closed it, and smiled. Before jake could look he felt a pair of small hands wrap around his shoulders. He looked up to see A girl with thick curly dark hair looking down at him. At first glance she wasn't bad looking but upon further inspection...Echh. Her hair was frizzy and overly puffed out. Her wide set eyes were rimmed in too much eyeliner which was smeared agaisnt her excessive amount of face makeup. She didn't have a bad looking body but her clothes were almost too tight, he wondered how she could even breath.

"Jake Harris right?" she said confidently, smilng down at him

She was a loud cocky girl, who thought being forceful was what a guy wanted. She had pushed herself against jake who was edging away from her. Her circle of friends, who ranged and 8 on the scale of 1-10 of skankiness had surrounded the guys as well. Jake was in so deep he thought there was no way out when he saw his angel.

Ria was deep in conversation with Cara, Jake Anderson's girlfriend when she spotted something. Motioning silently she gestured across the smoke filled bar, and Ria looked over her shoulder.

"That's the girl I was tellign you about Ria" Cara said eyeing the girl with intense dislike. "she was all over my Jake yesterday when i took him for his new rain gear. Iv'e been told shes like the Deadliest Catch groupie. She goes for all of them at one point or another."

Ria's eyes narrowed as the girl pressed herself against Jake's chair batting her glue on eyelashes at him.

"Jake..is a big boy. He can handle himself" She said tearing her gaze away from the scene unfolding in front of her. Even though jealousy was burning slightly in the pit of her stomach she knew there was nothing she could do without the truth of her 6 and a half year long Jake crush coming out. Cara pulled a face at her

"Oh come on Ria grow up. You mean to tell me that doesn't bother you at all?" Ria took a sip of her drink, and sighed.

"Of course it does Cara."  
"Then go over there and save your man from the Queen skank girl!" Cara said waving her hands in the air. RIa glanced over her shoulder and saw the girl had moved to a chair her hand on Jake's knee.

_That's it_

She pushed herself out of her chair, and strode over. She put a hand on Jake's shoulder, and winked down at him. he smiled gratefully at her, and said enthusiastically

"Hey!"

"Hey doll, Come on guys. were sitting over here." Without waiting for an answer she grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him along with her

"Play along" she whispered, and Jake wrapped his arm around her waist. She smiled at him

"Ria you are my angel"

She rolled her eyes "Yeah yeah like i haven't heard that before"

"No really. I'll never be an asshole to you again i pro-"

"Don't make promises you can't keep Jacob"

He smiled that beautiful smile at her, and they found a table away from the skanks. The other guys practically ran away form the table leaving the girls to wallow in the fact that they were now alone. They all sat Jake, Ria, Josh, Cara, Scottie, Crosby, Josh, Jake Anderson, Matt Bradley, and a local girl Bekah. They had combined their table with the Captains table. It was all going great, and everyone noticed Ria and Jake subtley flirting and whispering in eachothers ears through the night. Everything was great till someone brought up Ria living with Phil

"Yeah when did you move in with Phil anyways?" Andy asked.

Ria lowered her gaze "When I was 12 almost 13."

She drummed her fingernails on her knee hoping someone would change the subject.

"Yeah. So if you live with Phil then you fly down here every season right?" Edgar having just joined the table, asked. Josh looked away pointedly, and Jake shared a glance with his father.  
"No.I don't fly." She answered simply.

"You drive from Monroe Washinton, to Dutch Harbor every season?" Keith asked incredulously.

She nodded.

"Why don't you fly?" Monty asked. Her eyes drifted to Phil, and he sent back an apologetic look. Jake and Josh were now looking sadly at her. She toyed with her bullet necklace, and bit her lip.

"Why don't i fly..." She said slowly twisting the chain in her fingers

"I don't fly because..." She looked around at the men who were all listening intently to her.

"My parents, and my oldest sister were killed during 9/11."

Everyone's facial color drained, and several of them looked at her horrified. She slowly began to explain

"I was in Eighth grade, in English class with Jake when my phone rang. I tried to ignore it but it kept ringing and ringing so finally my teacher left me answer it. It was my oldest sister Harmony. She was crying, and explained what was happening. My teacher turned on the news and we saw the North Tower had been hit. She gave the phone to my parents and we spoke. She started to cry even louder and told me she loved me, and thats when we saw the plane hit the South Tower, and the line went dead."

She let go of the bullet necklace, and pulled the collar of her shirt aside to show the tattoo settled right above her heart. It read 'Harmony Daniels. Forever and Always. September 11, 2001" with a tiny heart settled between the words.

"So what's the bullet for then?"

She smiled ruefully and held the bullet between he rthumb and index finger.

"My brother Jagger was killed in the line of duty 2 years ago. He was a cop in Brooklyn. Got shot during a hostage situation shootout."  
She showed them her wrist which said "Jagger Daniels. Brooklyn's finest. March 17, 2008"

She took a deep breath. "I think I need some air." and with that she swept out of the bar. Jake followed her out.

"Hey Ria. You okay?"

She looked at him eyes slightly watery. He reached his arms out, and she buried her face in his chest. He didnt give her a hig, he didn't pat her on the back. he held her tightly. Taking away all the pain and sadness she felt right then and there. Maybe she couldnt have Jake the ways he wanted, but she was glad for now, that she had him here with her

Reviews pleaseeeee:)?


	6. Chapter 6

Off season passed pretty uneventfully. Any romantic feelings that had developed seemed to simmer down. Till the night they came back for the 2009- 2010 King Crab season.

Jake had a chip on his shoulder.

No.

Jake was being a fucking asshole. To Ria especially. During offseason he had watched her get hit on by one too many guys, and it pissed him off. He was annoyed by her presence now. And to be honest he didn't know why.

"Dude. We have one fucking bathroom on this boat, could you have gone any slower?" Jake said glaring at Ria. Everyone was heading tot he bar that night to celebrate the last night on land. RIa narrowed her eyes.

"I was fixing my makeup Jake. It took like 5 minutes, get over it"

Jake pushed roughly past her, and slammed the door.

"Dick" she said storming to the stateroom and slamming the door. The others loooked blankly around. Ria and Jake never fought, so this was unusual.

Ria left for the bar with Freddie without waiting for Jake. When jake arrived he saw Ria sitting on a barstool talking to a guy. A guy.

What the fuck.

Anger swelled in Jake's chest, as he watched her talk animatedly to the guy laughing at something he said that probably wasn't funny. She caught his eye, and turned her head angrily away from him

She didn't want to deal with him,a dn his baggage right now. She continued her conversation trying to ignore him.

He, however cornered her outside when she went for a cigarette.

"I never took you for a slut. until now" He spat at her crossing his arms. She blew smoke angrily out of her mouth

"Im the slut? Fuck you Jake. So I talked to a guy, why do you even care and how the fuck does that make me a slut?"

When he didnt say anything she turned to leave

"Yeah does your new Boyfriend know you throw yourself at me every 5 seconds?"

She turned very slowly. Her eyes were huge

"What did you just say to me?"

He laughed, a cold laugh "You know exactly what I just said. Let's be real Lyrica" He had never called her by her full name before " You flirt with guys all the time, and come home and crawl into bed with me. i could have had you so many times and you and I both know that."

Hot tears sprang to her eyelids as she turned on her heel and stomped towards the docks.

Ria was washing her face when the guys returned home. She had packed her things and was going to get a hotel room for the night when the guys came back. She walked into the stateroom She caught Jake's eye.

"What are you doing?"

She turned away "Im getting a hotel room-

"Don't be fucking ridiculous Ria"

"Jake the shit you said to me was-

Jake stood up

"Cant you ever learn to fucking let shit go Ria."

"Jake. You called me a slut"

"Big deal!Youve said plenty of fucked up shit to me before and you dont see me holding a grudge."

Jakes eyes were blazing with anger.

"Jake calm-

"Dont fucking tell me to calm down!" He screame. She backed against the wall. This was the first time Jake had ever scared her.

"Jake please" He whirled around. Jake had never looked at her this way. It wasn't anger it wasnt rage. It was want, lust, need it scared her.

"Jake?"

She said softly reaching a hand out. He grabbed her hand and pulled it up to his heart letting it rest there. He pulled her closer to him, their bodies brushing against eachother. His eyes locked on hers, his expression terrifying her. Her heart pounded so loud in her chest she thought he could hear it. He leaned forward very slowly, his face only inches from hers.

His lips crashed down on hers, and her heart nearly exploded out of her chest. His mouth formed to fit hers as she wrapped one arm around his neck and he continued to hold the other against his heart.

He put his hand on her face running his fingers through her hair, as he traced his tounge against her bottom lip. He explored her mouth feeling a new feeling in his stomach. They broke apart, and Jake backed away.

He left the room leaving Ria confused, and wondering...

What the fuck had just happened?


	7. Chapter 7

Everyone could see something was up. Ria and Jake had barely spoken over the last 2 days, and they could only get so far away from eachother on the boat. The weird part was...they still slept in the same bed. No one could figure it out.

They of course didnt know what had happened.

Nor were they present for the conversation that happened after the incident on the stateroom.

Ria had found Jake down by the dock, head in his hands cigarette hanging out of his mouth. His whole body was shaking with anger. He nearly took her head off when she put a hand very gently.

"Jake" She said softly "Why are you so angry?"

"I dont fucking know Ria! Im pissed all the time. i see you with other guys, and i get so angry can barely see straight. Im so annoyed by having you on the boat, but i ache to see you when your away. I get so angry when you dont talk to me, and nearly have a heart attack when we sleep together every night. I dont know whats wrong with my head! I cant shake this feeling that i need you, and I want you so bad but I dont get why. That night in the bar when you waked in. The way I saw you before changed and I couldnt get you out of my head. And now everytime I see you, I wanna tell you all this but I cant get the words out. So I act like a fucking asshole, and try to push you away so I wont feel this way because I dont wanna fucking lose you. I am so fucked in the head Ria, and no one. No one can fix it."

He finally finished breathing heavily. Ria's mouth fell open slightly, as she watched him pace.

"Why didnt you tell me." She said after along mment of silence

His expression softened "Because Ria. Your my bestfriend, and you deserve so much better than-

"Stop it." she said coldly "Don't you dare tell me what I deserve Jacob. Fuck!"

she said suddenly cuasing him to jump slightly

"I have been fucking in love with you since I was 16, and you blew me off for years. After all the shit that I've fucking been through, I always had you and maybe not in the way I wanted it to be but that ache never went away. And thenI get a glimmer of hope sometimes and you shoot me down. I cant do it anymore Jake. You need to decide what you want."

She was now standing up a few feet away from him, fist balled up at her sides. Jake looked out over the Bering Sea and then back at her.

"I want you Ria. It's always been you. I could never tell you how I felt because I wasn't afraid of losing you. I knew no matter how much I jerked you around, especially when we awere teenagers, I would always ahve you. I knew this whole time how you felt about me Ria.

Jake's eyes were locked on hers. She bit her lip, as he closed the space between them reaching out to wrap his arms around her. She gazed at him

"What the hell are we doing Jake?"

He snoreted as he ran his hands up and down her crossed arms.

"Being ourselves"

He leaned down and very gently kissed her. It wasn't like the kiss in the stateroom. It was soft and sweet, and gave her butterflies. She responded as their mouths moved slowly against eachothers. It felt so right, so perfect, and so new. When they broke apart, Jake smiled

"Soooo...He said "Are we like..."

She laughed, and pushed him away from her "Your too much Jacob. "

And that was just the way she liked him.

Jake had always known he was a tease.

But this was just wrong.

He and Ria had decided to keep their relationship secret for the time being in order to avoid the questions, and awkwardness on the boat. They got together when no one was around, and even thought that wasn't really enough for Jake he had to deal with it.

But Ria was just being unfair.

She was dangling herself in front of him, when they both knew he couldnt have her. She would wear short shorts, and tiny tank tops which showed several inches of flat stomach and back.

The other day, she was sitting on the counter in the kitchen knocking her feet against the wooden doors below, giving him so many dirty thoughts as she openly licked a lollipop. Every now and again she would run her tounge across her upper lip. He shuddered

She was sooo doing that on purpose.

They were at the bar last night laughing an having a good time when she put her hand on his knee. She slowly crept her fingers up his leg, underneath the table up to his upper thigh. She could see from his expression how nervous he was.

When they slept at night she would run her hands up and down his chest, and along the rim of his boxers, because he knew they couldnt do anything.

She was dong anything she could to get Jake's heart rate going, and it was working.

He watched her as she exited the bathroom weaaring a minscule tank top,and tiny shorts, rivulets of water from her shower sliding down her neck her long hair sticking to her neck and shoulders. She winked at him as she walked to the stateroom.

He shook his head.

_That girl is going to be the death of me_


	8. Chapter 8

Ria and Jake had been secretly dating for a while now. There was only one minor setback for Jake.

They still hadn't had sex.

This bummed him out slighlty but his feelings for her were growing even more because of it. The fact that she wasn't willing to give it to him right away like every other girl he had been with really pysched him out.

He was watching her talking to Jake Anderson across the table. He smiled as she laughed, flashing that beautiful smile, a strange feeling fluttering throught his stomach.

_Butterflies _

He thought disgusted with himself

_What guy gets the fucking butterflies?_

Sig smiled as he watched Ria smile broadly at Edgar. He could remember when she was tiny, only four or five on the docks for the first time.

Ria's father had been part of the managment team for offloading crab after a back injury had sidelined him from working on a boat.

*Flashback*

_Sig laughed as Ria hid behind her fathers, and Phil's legs and looked timidly up at him._

_She was tiny, her kinky curly long white blonde hair trailing down her back, Blue grey eyes wide as she took in everything around her. _

_"Aw come on Ria, don't be a baby." Jake said pulling a face at her._

_She glared, and stomped her tiny foot on the dock_

_"i am NOT a baby Jaocb!" she puffed her bottom lip out. Josh gave Jake alight shove_

"_Leave her alone Jake."_

_Jake sighed exasperatedly_

_"Their only crabs Josh!They ain't scary! Theyre dead!" he threw his hands up in the air, and turned away muttering.  
_

_Ria took a tentative step toward a dead crab lying on the deck, and poked it with the toe of her flat jumping backwards as if it were going to spring up and pich her. Sig watched her and smiled slightly. She nudged it a few more times, before bending down and picking it up. THe crab was as big as she was!_

_An evil grin slowly spread across her face, and she turned to the salty fishermen and put a finger to her lips, her wide grey eyes dancing with excitement._

_They watched as the tiny girl tiptoed over to Jake who was arguing with Josh about something, and jumped in front of him yelling "BOO!" and shoving the crab in his face._

_Jake and Josh each let out a scream and scurried behind Phil's legs. RIa giggled and howled with laughter, dropping the crab and doubling over all too pleased with herself._

_The men roared with laughter as jake and josh peeked out from behind Phil's legs scowling at her_

_"That was NOT funny Ria!" jake said _

_Ria quirked a eyebrow at him "Really? Cuz I thought it was hilarious."_

Sig smiled. It seemed as if it were yesterday that she was a tiny 5 year old with wildy curly blonde hair, and missing teeth dressed in a puffy white coat on the docks.

Now she had grown into a beautiful young woman, her long hair now fell in bouncy curls hanging elegantly around her face. her large grey eyes sparkled mischeviously in the light of the bar. She wasn't a little girl anymore. Johnathan voiced Sigs thoughts

"Ya know." he said slowly "It's amazin to watch how these kids grow up. Just amazin."

Phil nodded. "So much has changed. You don't realize how quickly it all happens till it's right in front of your face."

Edgar smiled "They have grown up haven't they? Especially Ria."

They all agreed, and Phil smiled fondly "She looks just like her mother."

Ria glanced over and saw them looking at her, she pulled her signature move and quirked an eyebrow at them

"Ya'll gotta problem."

They chuckled at her and Phil said "Act's just like her too  
******************************************************************************

Ria was lying asleep in Jake's bunk, while he lay awake.

He was thinking about everything that Ria had delt with because of him, and yet she still wanted him. He smiled in spite of himself. That was how Ria always was. She wanted everything she couldnt have, or everything that she should avoid.

When they were little Jake had always been the troublemaker, Josh had been the level headed one, and Ria had just been along for the ride.

But when they hit Highschool, they were split up from Josh and left to deal by themselves.

When they were 16 they took turns getting eachother in trouble. Ria and Jake grew closer and closer and were never seen apart. They partied every weekend, and spent everyday in class together.

And now Jake felt like kicking himself for not noticing how RIa felt before. There were so many signs. The way she would get quiet when he talked about girls. Or how she would avoid him in the bar. Even back then it was obvious. She would hang on every word, and always be the first person there when he needed something. She didn't get along with any of the girls he 'Dated', and always avoided asking about it.

How could he not have known?

But that wasn't important now was it?

Right now what was important to him was the beautiful girl lying next to him. He moved closer to her, and pretty soon the sound of her light breath lulled him to sleep sending all his worries out of his mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Your sure?" Freddie said slowly, stopping what he was doing to look incredulously over at Josh.

Josh nodded "I know man. I was just as shocked."

Earlier that morning Josh had woken up at the usual time, and stretched. He was about to exit the stateromm when he heard voices.

"Jake someone could walk out here-"

"Would you stop being so paranoid! No one had any idea."

Josh shook his head. If Pops knew Jake brought a girl back to the boat he would kill him. But then Josh stopped and thought. That voice sounded all too familiar. Cracking the door open he saw a sight that nearly made his brain fly out of his head. jake had RIa pressed against the wal with his tounge down her throat. Josh shook his head a few times, and pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but the scene was definately real.

Freddie stared at Josh for a moment, then looked at the ground in silence. Suddenly he burst out with

"GROSS!" Making Josh jump.

"What's gross?" Ryan, who had just walked on deck and was pulling his gloves on, asked curiously

"Ria and Jake playing tonsil hockey in out kitchen!" Freddie exclamed, and immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, and glanced at Josh.

'I wasn't supposed to say that was I?"

Josh shook his head.  
"WHOA WHOA WHOA!" Ryan said holding a hand up "Your joking right?"

Josh shook his head slowly, "Nah man I saw it with my own eyes."

"But he's jake, and she's Ria and..Ew!" Ryan pretended to Gag himself.

"So what do we do?" Freddie asked

"We have to tell Pops."

"Pops we have to-

"Ria and Jake were sucking face in the kitchen!" Freddie burst out

"FREDDIE!" Josh yelled smacking his arm " I told you to let me do the talking!"

Freddie gave himself a smack upside the head

" Aw Freddie you always open ya big fat mouth!"

"What are you talking about." Phil said slightly alarmed

Josh nodded." I didnt believe it either Pops but I saw it with my own eyes."

Phil was very quiet. It wasn't possible. If he was being totally honest with himself the idea of Ria and Jake wasn't exactly unreal. Him, and Ria's father had always joked about them falling in love one day and he saw the way Ria looked at Jake. But to him they would always be the little kids running around the backyard. He had always thought in the back ofhis mind that maybe they could one day be something, but he wasn't ready for it.

"Your sure?"He said looking at Josh

"Positive."

"Where are they right now?" Phil said standing up

"Galley." Ryan said

"JACOB!"

Phil bellowed as he lumbered down the stairs

"Here we go" Josh muttered

" Why didnt you tell us?"Phil said folding his hands and looking at Ria and Jake.

They shared a look.

"Tell you what?" Ria said in a small voice

"Tell us- Josh began

"Tell us that you two are lovers now!" Freddie interjected

"FREDDIE!" The whole galley yelled

he held his hands up in defeat "..."he muttered.

Ria went bright red, and Jake looked away.

"We wanted to tell you, honestly we did" Jake began

"But we felt it was best to see if it would even work out before letting the whole world know. We were just as suprised when it happened" Ria said finishing for him

"Look." Phil said leaning forward. Ria and Jake braced for the worst

"I'm...going to allow this on the boat. However. It still needs to remain professional during the trip."

Ria smiled broadly, as did Jake.

This was all going to work out.

Ria finally had everything in life she wanted

And she would be damned if she was going to let it get screwed up

Now that theyre relationship was out in the open it was alot harder to have any alone time because they felt they were being watched.

Ria feigned the excuse of the fumes from the boat being repaired giving her a headache, and rented a hotel room.

They would meet secretly there, and having Phil in on what they were doing helped because no one would question him when Ria and jake dissapeared.

Ria had been contemplating about her and Jake all afternon. She finally made up her mind

Ria was leaning against the doorframe watching him. A very coy smile was spreading across her face, as Jake watched her watching him.

"What the hell are you looking at?" He asked playfully.

"Well.. Ive been thinking?" Jake turned around to throw one of the pillows off the bed, and when he turned back around Ria was pulling a shirt over her head. he gulped. She locked her eyes with his as she slowly pushed her shorts down her legs. Very slowly she walked to him, her tiny hips swinging as she moved. She pressed her bare skin against his tshirt and jean clad body. She removed his shirt, and drifted her hands down his chest, to hisd belt.

"Ria-"

"No Jake. Im ready, I want this, I want you. Now"

"I just dont want you to do anything till your ready. after everything thats happened to you , you may need time"

"No" she said pushing herself against him tighter. "You are the one I want to do this with Jake. Only you"

Jake hesitated for a moment before he sighed and nodded. Ria took a deep breath, and slowly undid his belt, taking a step back allowing him to remove his jeans and step out of them. She reached up putting her arm around his neck, and their lips connected. They had kissed many times but this was all new. Jake had been holding out on her, his lips moved slightly roughly against hers. The kiss was hungry and powerful. Jake knew what he wanted, and Ria wasnt saying no. He stroked up her back, feeling her soft skin against his rough calloused hands. They walked slowly backwards, and landed very gently on the bed. Jake kissed down Ria's neck, and chest to her stomach and hip bones. He stopped at her panty line, and looked up. She closed her eyes and nodded, unhooking her bra clasp, while he slid her underwear over her hips down her legs, kissing as he went. When he came back up he looked at her.

"Are you sure about this?"

She nodded "Yes."

It was crazy, being with Jake like this. She had imagined it, but none of her thoughts could live up to this. The heavy breathing, Jake being so close to her, being connected, the stars that exploded behind her eyelids. After it was over she closed her eyes, and smiled.

"Are you okayy." jake asked slightly nervously

She shook her head "No. Im more than okay."

Jake smiled, and leaned back. His heart was pounding

and he realized something rightt here in that moment.

he was unexplainably, crazily completely in love with Lyrica Daniel's

And he always had been.


	10. Chapter 10

RIa woke up the next morning and the memories of the previous night came flooding back to her. She smiled and looked over to find Jake leaning against the window frame smoking a cigarette. Pouring rain pounded against the glass of the window pane. He turned and smiled slightly at her before ashing his cigarette and climbing back into bed. She wriggles closer to him and he laughed slightly.

"What?" she said as he ran his fingers through her hair

"Your too fucking cute." He pulled her closer

That was how they pent the day. Wrapped in each other, watching movies and being together. Jake didnt even want sex. He just wanted to be around her, be able to say he was holding her touching her, with her. To him she was the most beautiful girl in the world, and she was his.

And there was no way in hell he was going to fuck this one up

Phil watched Jake and Ria, who were sitting across from him. Ria had one hand on Jake's knee, leaned slightly forward so that her hair was brushing ahainst his bare arm. Every now and again they would flash a smile at eachother and each would look away blushing slightly. Jacob had never blushed a day in his life.

_Times are changing_ He thought happily.

Ria's parents had always wanted her to end up with Jake. They would all sit around while the kids played and joke about Ria and Jake falling in love. No one however thought it would actually happen.

When RIa's parents had died Phil felt it was only right for him to take her in. She had gone from a shy, yet stubborn little girl, to a wild and reckless teenager, to a bright fun beautiful young woman and Phil was glad he had assisted in that. She was good for Jake.

She always had been

That night when Phil came back from the burn barrel, Phil sat Jake, Josh and Ria down.

"I cant listen to you and Josh anymore, ya know your not his boss for everything jake."

Jake smirked, and Ria elbowed him under the table "I did-I just-I told him I wasnt his boss."

"Yes you did."

"No I did-

"Thats bullshit and you know it."

Phil dragged on his cigarette "He's calling up trying to find another boat to get on cuz hes afraid hes going to kill ya."

another drag

"Ive just had a meeting with Sig, and weve decided to put you on the Northwestern and we take Jake Anderson.

Everyone in the Galley froze. Jake frowned

"Wha-whats up with that?"

She shared a glance with Josh and Phil sighed "Well I honestly think this will be a good thing for ya. Well see just how good you are."

Jake shrugged "Im gonna do good anywhere you put me."

It was silent for a few moments

"So your giving me the boot?" Jake said with a small smile

Phil looked at his cigarette "This is probably gonna bother me more than its bothering you. And hey maybe Jake Anderson will wanna stay her."

Jake nodded and stood up "Im sure he will wanna stay here...Its a cool boat to work on."

Ria gazed sadly up at the others before pushing out of the booth, and leaving the galley.

She pushed herself moodily up in Jake's bunk, and yanked the covers uo to her chest trying hard not to cry. She had just gotten Jake, and now he was leaving. Just like everyone else in her life.

What was she going to do for the season? She and Jake had always been a packaged deal, but she knew no matter how much Sig liked her he wouldnt let her on the boat, Would Phil want her there now that Jake was gone. Did she want to be there?

All these questions clouded her mind, till Jake himself walked in. He huffed once he had settled himself on his bunk

"I dont like this Jacob." She said softly, and he in turn gave her an apologetic smile.

"I dont either Ria." He said as he wrapped an arm around her "Not at all. But look. I talked to Dad, and he said he's keeping you on the boat. But your gonna have to bunk with Josh which is better than bunking with Jake A. I mean dont get me wrong he would never try anything but I'd rather have you with Josh."

She shrugged. She loved Josh but it just wouldnt be the same not sleeping with Jake. She snuggled closer to him and sighed. This was going to be one long ass season.

Ria leaned against the doorframe watching Jake while he packed. The others had gone in to town and wouldnt be back for several hours to get any last minute things they needed.

That was when it hit her.

If there had been a lightbulb over her head, it would have blown up at that moment.

"Jake." She said suddenly straightening up, he turned and saw her expression and furrowed his brow

"What?"

"You do realize your gonna be gone for two months right."

he nodded slowly, "Yeah..why?"

She raised an eyebrwo suggestively, and put a hand on her hip. Enlightenment dawned on Jake's face

"OH!"

They hurried down to the engine room, which was the only place on the boat they wouldnt be heard if the others came back early.

They were a tangled mess of limbs, and clothes as they stumbled through the engine room, ripping eachothers clothes off. THey landed against a wall glued at the lips, as Ria clumsily undid Jakes belt buckle. Stars exploded as they moved in rythm her heart nearly bursting out of her chest. When it was over she smiled

"Imagine going two weeks without that."

Jake grimaced, and shook his head "Fuck my life." He grumbled as he handed her her jacket, but then he smiled.

"It'll be worth it when I come back." he winked and kissed her, tounge tracing against her bottom lip. That was something she was going to miss.

After several hours it was time for Jake to go. Ria and josh drove him to the opposite dock. Dread was buiding in her stomach as they drove in silence her chin resting against the side of Jakes seat.

She bit her lip as he pulled her into a hug, and pressed his lips to hers and sucked the air out of her lungs.

"Alright alright knock it off. I rather enjoy having my breakfast INSIDE my stomach." Edgar yelled from the dock, grinning at them. She gazed at Jake for a moment and he smiled before kissing her cheek and walking to the the nothwestern, and climbing on board.

She and Josh drove home in silence. Nothing needed to be said.

She didnt speak to the other guys, she instead climbed in Jake's bunk and cried.

2 weeks.

And it hadn't even been one day yet.


	11. Chapter 11

On the outside Ria was her normal self. But on the inside she was miserable.

She was glad she was bunking with Josh because in some ways it was like sleeping with Jake. They used to same axe smell, so often times she found herself dreaming about the day he came back.

******************************************************************************Phil was in so much pain he had done the unthinkable and put Ria on wheel watch. Not that she didnt kow how to drive a boat, because she did but no other Captain in the fleet would EVER have done that.

She stared over the sea which was flat calm even though it was raining. She jumped slightly when she heard a noise. She turned to see Jake Anderson smiling slightly at her.  
"Hey" he said taking a seat on the bench behind her

"Hey jake" she replied smiling at him

"You know Captain Ria Daniels sounds pretty fucking good to me." He said grinning broadley at her. She laughed

"Hell yeah."

they sat in silence for a few moments before jake said

"Hey Ria..we-Weve known eachother a long time yeah?"

She nodded "Yeah why?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

she nodded

"Are you in love with Jake?" The question hit her like a ton of bricks. She had never really thouhgt about it because it had never been brought up. She loved Jake but she hadn't thought about id she was in love with him.

"I guess..now that you say it..I am."

she blushed. She was in love with Jake.

"I think I'm in love with Cara too."

She beamed at him"AWE!Jake thats so great!"

He frowned"No it isnt."

She furrowed her brow "Jake..of course thats a good in love with her?"

"But it.I just..I..IT FREAKS ME OUT OKAY!"

Ria stared at him for a few moments before bursting out laughing

"Oh come on you can't be serious?" SHe said clutching her stomach while she doubled over, still laughing. Jake's big blue eyes looked like they were about to fly out of their sockets

"It's not funny!" He said puffing his bottom lip out" What if she doesn't like me?"

Ria rolled her eyes" What are we in fifth grade?If she didn't like you she wouldn't be dating you now would she?"

"Well...I..guess not. But I'm gonna let her say it first."

He folded his arms over his chest.

"Jake." She said pushing her hair out of his eyes "grow a dick, and tell your goddamn girlfriend you love her."

Jake glowered at her, and pouted "But I don't wanna do it." he replied in his most pathetic baby voice

Ria rolled her eyes again, and turned back to the controls.

Men.

More like Women.

Fuckin Babies

The day they swapped Jake's was the happiest in Ria's life. She was overjoyed when Jake returned.

Or so she thought.

Things were great at first. Ria and Jake could barely keep their hands off eachother for the first day or so. But then things changed. SOmething about Jake had gone seriously wrong, and everyone took notice of it.

Ria and Jake began fighting all the time. Josh broke up numerous fights. Something had changed about Jake when he left. Something bad. He fought even more than usual with Josh, and acted overbearing and angry all the time. He just wasn't Jake.

Ria was constantly crying. They still slept in the same bunk, but inched as far apart as they could. It became a routine. THe more Ria would cry, the angrier Jake got.

He wanted nothing to do with Ria, had a bad attitude, and his performance on deck was bad too. Ria had tried to talk to him but he had only ignored her, and told her to mind her own buisness.

Then offload happened.

Instead of just changing his shirt Jake yanked it off, and threw things around looking for one. Ria innocently asked his is something was wrong and he exploded.

He screamed at her while she sputtered wide eyed at him. He threw things against the wall, yelled, kicked things, and punched walls.

When Josh came in Ria and jake were standing only inches apart screaming in eachothers face. Ria angrily threw things in her bags, while Jake destroyed the stateroom. Josh tried to reason with both of them but neither wanted to hear it. Jake angrily shoved a cigarette in his mouth and told Josh to fuck off, and RIa told him Jake obviously didt want her there anymore so why should she stay?

Josh was at a loss. He knew this was Jake's fault but didn't want to risk another explosion. But he didn't want her to leave. But he was too late.

And then Ria left.

Left Dutch Harbor

Left Alaska

Left Jake


	12. Chapter 12

Ria and Jake delt with the situation in different ways. Ria locked herself in her house, and layed around all day becoming dangerously skinny and reclusive. Jake threw himself into his work, and during offseason threw himself into the girl of the moment. He became a monster. He would go out with the guys every night and end up with a new girl. In every instance they were tall, thin and blonde with strikingly blue eyes and tattoos.

Sound familiar?

When Josh tried to reason with them Jake told him to 'get the fuck off his case, and mind his own buisness' and Ria ignored it and changed the subject. Everyone noticed. Phil included

Phil sighed and looked out his trailer window as he watched Jake smoke a cigarette.

He looked like a hungover mess. There was scruff on his face, he was on a nicotine binge, and the deep dark circles under his eyes practically screamed I party too much.

Phil sighed again and glanced at Josh

"Maybe if you just-

"No dad. Everytime I try and talk to him he screams at not worth it."

"How does Ria feel about all this?"

"She doesnt wanna talk about it. Ever. All she does is sit home, cry, and shes been throwing up everyday."

Phil shook his head."That girls too damn skinny already. She cant afford to lose anymore weight."

"I know Dad Ive tried to help. Theyll have to workj this out on their own."

Phil snorted.

Yeah right

Josh didnt know what to do with him. Jake and Ria still hadn't spoken since she left Dutch Harbor almost a month ago. It was a personal record for both of them. Ria had been consistently throwing up everyday.

and no one could figure out why

Josh pulled up to Ria's house and found the dor to be unlocked. his brow furrowed as he silently wandered inside.

"Ria?" he called out, but got no answer.

He walked halfway up the stairs and called out again.

"Hmmm?" The answer had come from her upstairs bathroom. Slowly Josh made his way to the door which was cracked about an inch

"Ria?Ria can I come in?" he asked her placing his hand on the dorrhandle

"Erm..Yess?"

Josh creaked the door open to find Ria sitting on the floor legs crossed holding something in her hands. She didn't look up when Josh entered. He knelt down and looked at her, finally making her look up at him.

Her eyes were beyond huge with a shocked look on her face, he could almost see the wheels turning.

"You ok?"

Silently she stretched her hand out holding the object out to him.

Josh stared open mouth down at it.

It wasnt a miracle

It wasnt something he was expecting

It was a pregnancy test

And it was positive

Ria jumped off the floor pushing past Josh, and hurrying into her room.

She yanked the fabroc of her shirt up and looked at her stomach. She didnt see anything noticable but she had been throwing up everymorning.

She twisted her hips this way and that trying to find the baby bump on her flat stomach but was unsuccesful.

"Ria. This is going to sound stupid but...Who's the father?"

"jake. Jakes the only person Ive been with since Dutch."

Josh heaved a sigh

This couldnt be happening.

They decided that she was going to tell Jake, as soon as she could.

That night Ria dressed to kill, Sporting tight dark jeans, and white v-neck tee, flats and her leather half sleeve jacket she nervously drove to where she knew Jake would be.

The Bar.


	13. Chapter 13

Jake smiled at the chesty blonde who was currently smiling wide eyed at him. As he downed another shot he felt the liquid burn in his throat, washing away the empty feeling he had in his throat and the beautiful face that haunted him at all times. Glancing around he saw a girl. A girl of such sickening beauty he almost wanted to look away. Something about he captivated him.

Something about her always had..

Eyes still on the girl jake pushed out of his chair cutting the girl off mid sentence, but he didnt care. He walked slowly over catching her eye.

Sitting next to her he lit a cigarette, and slowly dragged on it.

"I thought you were mad at me?" he questioned finally looking at the girl

Ria turned slightly in her chair eyeing him

He was a mess. He looked unshave, and big dark circles hung under his eyes like he hand't slept in days. he had this dark, brooding, slightly dangerous look about him.

"I am. But I need to tell you something..Jake I-

'Look. I dont wanna fucking hear about how pissed you are or how much you hate me okay?Im sick of listening to you it the fuck go"

"Shut the fuck up Jake. I knew this was a bad idea. Your still an immature asshole like you were a month ago. I wanted to fix things. Guess you dont."

Jake rolled his eyes

"Grow up Ria. There is no fixing things with us and you know it."

Ria fought back tears before turning to him. Leaning forward she kissed Jake

And slowly and silently walked away

FAST FORWARD TO JANUARY OF OPIE SEASON

Ria's phone rang loudly.

"Hello?" She said after recognizing the number.

A deep voice spoke rapidly on the other end of the phone. All the color drained out of Ria's face as she sunk down to the floor open mouthed.

"When. Where?" She said hoarsley.

Jake blew smoke out of his mouth as he sat outside the hospital in Anchorage. He was numb, completely lost in his own thought. He was going to lose his father right here and now, and no one could stop that.

It kept playing over and over in his mind how much he fucked up so many times.

He let his dad down, and was a horrible son.

What the hell kind of son steals their fathers pain medication?

How much more fucked up could he be?

He was a lousy ass fucking excuse for a son, a no good addict. He had let his father down, and now he would have to go the rest of his life knowing how dissapointed his dad was in him. He was an even worse brother. He picked fights with Josh everyday just to stir shit up. He loved pissing Josh off more than anything, and he knew Josh probably hated him. But it was who he was. A prick, and asshole, and a lousy excuse for a man.

And let's not forget what he did to Ria. That might have been his biggest fuck up of all. He had let go one of the only people who put up with his shit, and still loved him for it. The girl who he came home to talk to every night, rather than leaving her after he was finished with her. The one who made him feel happy, and alive. Even though there relationship was explosive sometimes, and hard to deal with he loved every minute of it.

He needed her like he needed air, every inch of her made his blood boil, but his heart sing with joy when she did things. He smile, the slow grin she had, the way her hair would brush against his arm when she leaned over him, how she would cock her head to the side when she was listening to someone, or the quirk of her eyebrow, or how she would bite her lip and wink at him now anf again.

Her face was burned in his mind, haunting him every minute.

He needed her.

He always had

The bench he was sitting on creaked, but Jake didnt look up. He blew smoke out of his mouth again, and glanced over.

"I-I know your not here for me. But Im glad that you are."

He looked over to the person sitting next to him, hazel eyes gazing into blue grey.

Ria smiled slightly, and sighed her breath coming out in a mist of air.

"You know I'm always here Jacob."

Just like she always had been


	14. Chapter 14

When Jake woke up the next morning, he immediately knew he wasn't alone.

He blinked a few times before he caught that all too familiar smell of vanilla, baby powder perfume, and cigarette smoke.

Ria was gazing at him from underneath his arm, wide awake. She smiled slightly. Most of last night was a blur to Jake but he remembered some of it very clearly most of the nights events with Ria. Josh had stayed to fill out paper work while Ria took Jake home.

After being apart for so long, being together made it all the more better.

Jake could remember her voice, her smile, her lips on his.

Everything juat the way he wanted it to be.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly for a few moments before she leaned up to kiss him.

"I forgive you." She said propping herself up on her elbow.

Jake nodded, and smiled sitting up grabbing a cigarette as he did.

He was glad she was here.

Very very glad

Dread was building in the pit of Ria's stomach. Jake was in the shower and Josh was out somewhere.

She still hadn't told Jake she was pregnant and didnt know if it was ever going to come out.

She toyed idly with the ring in her tregus as she wrestled with her mind.

She knew though the minute Jake exited the bathroom, she had to tell him.

Smiling at him she patted the bed next to her, and took his hand when he sat down

"jake." She said taking a deep breath

"Im pregnant."

Jakes eyes nearly flew out of his head when she said the words. Joy exploded at the pit of his stomach, and his beautiful smile slid across his face like wildfire.

"Im gonna be a dad?" He said resting his hand gently on her stomach.

She nodded

"Your not mad?"

Jake frowned, but immediately smiled again

"Mad?Never. Ria if I were going to be the father to anyone's baby I would want it to be yours.

Ria heaved a sigh of relief and threw herself at him.

Josh was overjoyed when he found them hugging and crying upon his return.

Their joy was short lived however.

They had to go see Phil now that he was awake.

and they were all dreading it.

The three of them walked nervously into Phil's room after a quick chat with the doctor. Phil was sitting up blinking around at the abnormally white hospital room walls. he half smiloed at them, which showed them his half frozen face.

They probably looked like hell to him. Pale with deep circles under their eyes. Jake and Josh both kissed the top of their fathers head and asked him how he was doing. He mumbled something and leaned around to see Ria.

She smiled wanly at him and took the hand he was holding out for her.

"Phil. Theres something Jake and I want to tell you."

Jake beamed at him

"Ria's pregnant!"

Phil's eyes got big, and he smiled broadley hugging them all. Big sloppy tears came out of his eyes and he insisted on touching Ria's stomach. He kept murmuring about spoiling his grandchildren and teaching them to fish.

The day remained happy and light. Jake and Josh resumed their fighting like they always did, this time over how many ice chips Phil was allowed to have, which made Ria and Phil laugh the whole time.

Phil was so worn out by the time they left he drifted into a happy slumber.

Back at the hotel they all collapsed into bed, tired and happy that Phil had pulled through, and he would be around to see his grandchildren.

It could only get better...

Right?


	15. Chapter 15

them to fish.

The day remained happy and light. Jake and Josh resumed their fighting like they always did, this time over how many ice chips Phil was allowed to have, which made Ria and Phil laugh the whole time.

Phil was so worn out by the time they left he drifted into a happy slumber.

Back at the hotel they all collapsed into bed, tired and happy that Phil had pulled through,

Jake needed to go to Rehab. Ria didnt want him to leave, but it was time. She had known Jake was an addict since she came back. The dark circles gave him away.

The morning Jake left was the hardest of Ria's life. She bawled her eyes out as he packed his things. She didnt want him to leave her...and the baby. Especially not after she had just gotten him back.

The drive the airport was silent, except for Ria's sniffling in the backseat.

Ria held onto jake, almost not letting him go. He kissed her forhead, and then put a hand gently on her stomach.

"I love you. Both of you"

And so Jake boarded the plane back to Washington.

He left Ria standing at the airport.

Alone.

Ria was lying on her stomach on the bed she and jake shared when Josh came in grinning. He was holding a manilla envelope in his hand.

"Whats that?" She said curiously sitting up cross legged

His grin grew bigger and he threw it in her lap. She gingerly picked it up and pulled the contents out her eyes widening.

Baby Pictures.

Tons of them of her Jake and Josh.

halloween, the year Jake was a pumpkin Josh a cowboy and Ria the Devil. She wore a red t-shirt and red tights.

The first day of school, the three of them stood Ria in the middle Jake and Josh on either side of her smiling grimly into the camera. Sveral shots from birthdays, and christmas.

And then they hit highschool. Ria smiled ruefully as she sorted through the pictures with Josh. There she was. Tall and skinny in skin tight black clothes, and heavy makeup her long blonde hair streaked with black.

"I can't believe this."

"Yeah I know." Josh said "I was just as suprised as you are that dad even had these!"

"No I mean how could you guys lets me walk around like this?"

Josh laughed. "It seems like so long ago."

"It was long ago Josh. I mean it's crazy to think about the fact that my parents have been dead for 10 years. Jagger's been gone for almost 2."

Josh shook his head."it seems like yesterday we were in highschool and now you and Jake are having a baby."

Ria smiled fondly and patted her stomach.

She and Jake were having a baby.

The phrase hit her like a ton of bricks everytime she heard it.

"So have you thought of names yet?"

Ria shrugged "Not really. Well worry about that in a few months."

"Ria. I'm really glad your here, and that you worked things out with Jake. He needs you right now more than ever. Jake is following right in the old mans footsteps, and to be honest it scares the shit out of me."

"I know that Josh. Jake's always been that way. That's why you and I are her to keep him gounded."

Josh nodded.

'We love you Ria. More than you really could ever know. Your special, and were lucky to have you here."

"I love you guys too Josh."

she paused

"And I always will

Josh got the call while he and Ria were going to get food that afternoon.

They were sitting in the hospital waiting room, nervously looking for Phil's Doctor.

He finally appeared.

"I'm sorry. We did all we could. it just wasn't enough."

Cold dread seeped through their stomachs, and their minds went numb.

Phil, the toughest, strongest, bravest man Ria ever knew was gone. He would no longer be there to make her laugh, give her an ecnouraging smile, or make her feel better.

She had lost her father.

Again.

In that moment she dint care whether she stayed frozen to the spot, all she knew was her anf Josh gripping eachother tightly, and the hot tears sliding down her face.


	16. Chapter 16

She Josh and jake had agreed that Josh would go to Seattle and make sure Jake was alright, and Ria would take the truck and go back to Dutch.

Ria pulled up to Dutch harbor early that morning.

She found the Cornelia Marie sitting in the same spot they had told it would be. She nearly broke down when she saw the big Teal and Canary Yellow boat sitting in the water. It was eerie how it looked. Iced up and almost sad with no skipper to helm the vessel. She sucked in a long breath and pulled herself together. She made her way silently on deck with no greeting, and poked her head into the galley to find all 4 Cornelia Marie crew members there. They looked at her alarmed that she was standing there. Freddie mouthed silently at her as if she were a ghost. She entered the galley and Ryan gasped sharply. She was even thinner now than she was before, there was deep purply blue circles under them. She looked worn out. Her once shiny pale hair, had lost it's luster, and hung limply around her face. She offered them a weak smile, as she gave each of them a hug.

"Ria, what're you...doing here?" Ryan asked still staring at her wide eyed.

"I'm here to come get all of you. Jake and Josh want you all home for the funeral, thats what Phil would have wanted it."She said her voice cracking at the end of sentence.

"So get going. Pack your shit and let's get the hell out of here."

They all grinned at her. She stood up and said

"While you go pack, I'm gonna head over the the Northwestern."

She made her way across the cold snowy dock, and onto the Northwestern deck. She was greeted by Norman who gave her a very gentle hug, and said

"I am so sorry" she smiled at him as he led her into the galley.

Edgar lept to his feet the moment he saw her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug, tears flowing from his eyes. When he released her She gave him an apologetic smile. She was met next by Nick, then Matt and finally Jake, who broke down and bawled like a baby. She pulled him into a hug and patted his back.

After everyone had calmed down, Sig came down. He held both of her hands tightly and told her how much Phil had loved her, and how grateful he was to have been able to raise her. This of course made her blubber like a baby. She pulled herself together, and bade the Northwestern crew goodbye after relaying all the funeral info to Sig. he promised they would be there.

She heaved a huge sigh, and took several big gulps of air holding the tears back as she left ther boat.

Men stared strangely at her as she made her way across the dock, frozen snow crunching beneath her converse clad feet. She breathed deep before she opened the galley door, and nearly collided with Ryan.

"Klutz." he murmured grinning at her

"Dick." She shot back winking at him.

They all piled into the truck and began the long drive back. She broke the news about the baby and tears welled up in her eyes when Freddie started to cry.

She didn't want to go home

Because going home could only mean one thing

Facing the fact that Phil was gone

And she didnt know if she was ready for that

Hell...

Would she ever be?


	17. Chapter 17

The Morning of Phil's funeral Ria woke when it was still dark out. She listened to Jake breathing and knew he wasn't asleep. Neither of them said anything, they just layed there thinking.

Her poor baby would never have grandparents. Never know what it was like to call someone 'Grandpa', spend the weekend with Phil fishing, or help him build a birdhouse. Her baby would never get to see their Grandfather fishing.

Phil would never see Jake and Josh become Captains of the Cornelia, never see his grandchildren playing on the docks, never be able to sit at the bar and proudly watch the next generation take over.

Jake finally turned to face her after several hours of sitting in silence. His eyes were sad, longing for some bit of hope to hold on to.

Laying there he looked like a lost defeated puppy, with no where to turn to. SHe could see his eyes were glassy, which scared her. She had never seen Jake cry before. She reached forward and held him tightly, his body shaking as the tears came full force stinging his eyes.

"Shhh" She said rubbing his back

When he finally gained control of himself he got up and slowly walked to the bathroom to shower, Ria following close behind.

They were finally ready to go when Josh pulled up in front of Ria's place. She held Jakes hand on the way there, but he gazed blankly ahead of him

It was a cloudy blustery day, as they walked slowly to where Phils ashes were. They sat, Ria between Jake and Josh all crying silently.

Jake felt was like he was dreaming and begging to wake up. If Ria weren't around he didnt know what he would do. She was his rock.

He gazed at her, her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were red and glassy but to him she was the most stable person he had. She was carrying his baby, and he loved her more than ever now. Phil had once told him

"That girl. She's a keeper. Don't make the mistake of letting her go like I did with your mother."

Jake would never. He knew sometimes he was a dick, and that Ria was insane for putting up with it when most people would give up but he loved her for it. Jake had always known Ria was the only one for him but he always avoided it because he was afraid.

he gently squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly at her before he got up to put Phils Urn in the ground. Gazing down for a moment he thought about all the times he had fucked up and dissapointed his dad.

But then he thought about how many times he had made him proud. And how proud he would be of him and Josh now. Josh for being responsible and taking care of buisness just like Phil would have. And Jake for falling totally head over heels in love with RIa, and staying with her and the baby.

And in that moment Jake knew that Phil wasnt gone. He was watching them right now, from high in the sky.

And he was telling them

I Love You.

Just as he always had

And always would.

Jake and Ria got married. THey had a tiny ceremony composed of family and friends on the beach shortly after Phil's funeral.

FAST FORWARD 8 MONTHS

Jake paced quickly back and forth huffing and puffing in the hospital waitng room

"Dude!" Josh snaped agitatedly "WIll you qiut it."

Jake huffed and threw himself into the chair between Josh and Jake A looking ruffled.

"Calm down Phil." Edgar said his eyes twinkling "Your just like your old man. I'm sure she's fine."

Ria had gone into labor nearly an hour ago. he could hear her occasional shreik now and again but the last 15 minutes had been mostly screaming and crying.

He was worried. He practically jumped the doctor when he came into the hallway beaming at Jake.

"Congratulations. You have twins a ."

The others wooped and yelled excitedly clapping Jake on the back. he smiled broadly his mind reeling as he watched the Hillstrands talk animatedly about setting off celebratory fireworks.

The doctor led Jake into the room where he found Ria, disheveled and sweaty but grinning like a chessy cat. He pressed a kiss to her hot forehead, and they waited for the doctor to bring in his child.

He were beautiful

The boy was slightly darker skinned, with tufts of dark hair that layed over his forehead. He had big hazel eyes

Just like his father.

"What should we name him?" Ria questioned as she gently played with a piece of his baby fine hair.

Jake stared thoughtfully down at him for a moment. 

"Jagger Phillip Harris." he said finally.

Ria's eyes shone with tears

"Jagger Philip Harris." She repeated as she pressed a kiss to the babies forehead, and then Jake's

That sounded just perfect to her


	18. Chapter 18

**Im so sad to see this end. Ria and Jake became so close to my heart. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Stay tuned for any other stories I might write**

**Your support is everything!**

**And a special shoutout to JakeHarrisLover. Shes shown me so much support and encouragement, and inspired me**

**Go read her stories their AWESOME!**

FAST FORWARD 2 YEARS

"AHHHHHUHHHHHH!"

Freddie let out a squeal when he saw the new revamped Cornelia Marie. It was still Teal and Canary Yellow but it had been freshly painted and the deck redone. Jake and Josh had rehired the whole crew, and bought the boat completely for themselves.

"It's so beautiful!" Ryan exclaimed and the other crews nodded appreciatively.

Ria grinned at Jake as he stared longingly at the boat

"Sometimes I think you love that boat more than you love me."

"Boat Boat!" Ria and Jake's daughter called joyfully from Jake's arms.

Aria mary Harris had been born shortly after Jagger. She was tiny and blonde, with shockingly grey eyes.

Just like Ria.

They watched Edgar tease Aria smiling. Josh smiled fondly at Jagger who was getting a five minute crab fishing lesson from Sig. Ria and Jake had appointed Josh as Jagger's godfather, and Jake Anderson as Aria's. Cara was Aria's godmother and Jakes mother Mary was Jagger's.

Ria could see the fishing gene in Jagger already, and she wanted him to grow up to be the kind of man Jake was

Jake and Josh said their goodbyes to the crews and finished last minute things before they had to leave for King Crab.

Jake kissed both of his children on the forehead and kissed Ria on the lips.

"I love you."

She smiled "I love you too"

Jake boarded the boat and slowly they pulled out of Dutch Harbor.

Ria shivered slightly as she watched the boat pull away, Aria in her arms Jagger holding onto her belt loop waving at the boats as they left horns honking to eachother. She didn't want him to go, but she knew it made him happy.

But something extraordinary happened.

Out of the thick grey clouds, a ray of blazingly orange sun burst through the clouds and a strong wind whirled around her. Looking up, her eyes welling with tears she smiled knowingly

"Hey Phil." Another strong gust twirled her long pale hair around making Aria giggle

"Bring him home to me."

She thought for a moment

" I feel you. God, i miss you. And I love you."

And the ray of sun landed on the Cornelia Marie warm rays on Jake's face. He smiled and looked up

"I Love you too Pop's."

"I love you too."


End file.
